In the “Why is Palm Oil Popular?” section, state that it HAS/OFFERS (I recommend “offers”) multiuse since you’re asking about one singular set of palm oil in the header (saying “palm oil have multiuses” doesn’t grammatically fit). Other than that, as well as checking for other grammatical errors, it’s awesome!
I understand that there’s a lot of information to convey, but the text is too small, especially in “the growing demand” and “the reality of palm oil” section. I would also suggest spacing the text out a bit more, a block of text is difficult to process for many readers, especially if your target audience is high schoolers — who aren’t exactly the most attentive age group (speaking as an inattentive high schooler myself, haha). Other than that, I really like the icons and the colored text. I think they do well to draw the eye and put a special emphasis on your words.
You do have a few grammatical errors, however:
– “The most used vegetable oil s effect on the environment” should have an apostrophe between “oil” and “s”. I think that might just be the font lacking a character for an apostrophe because there is a space. Also, I’m not sure what that dash is above the “l”?
– “In recent years, market witnesses an upward trend”: “In recent years” implies you’re speaking in the past, should probably be “market has witnessed.”
– “The market witnesses an upward trend in palm oil demand due to the increasing demand of palm oil biofuel” sounds repetitive. Perhaps change the second demand to “use”?
– Corporates is misspelled in that paragraph.
– Detrimental is misspelled in “The Reality of Palm Oil” section
– In the “Myth vs Reality” section, only one sentence (“90% of oil palm biomass…”) has a period. For continuity’s sake, I would suggest deleting it, as the rest of the section doesn’t use periods.
– “Oil palm biomass is low in energy density; therefore not a suitable raw material”: Misuse of semicolon. “Therefore not a suitable raw material” is a fragment. If you want to keep the semicolon, just add “it is” between “therefore” and “not”
– “Oil palm plantations have the same same level of biodiversity” Accidental repetition of “same”
It looks good so far!
I had trouble reading the two graphs that you posted in the top right corner, I really liked the myth/reality presentation that you used, you also misspelled detrimentally.
Design For Understanding
In the “Why is Palm Oil Popular?” section, state that it HAS/OFFERS (I recommend “offers”) multiuse since you’re asking about one singular set of palm oil in the header (saying “palm oil have multiuses” doesn’t grammatically fit). Other than that, as well as checking for other grammatical errors, it’s awesome!
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I understand that there’s a lot of information to convey, but the text is too small, especially in “the growing demand” and “the reality of palm oil” section. I would also suggest spacing the text out a bit more, a block of text is difficult to process for many readers, especially if your target audience is high schoolers — who aren’t exactly the most attentive age group (speaking as an inattentive high schooler myself, haha). Other than that, I really like the icons and the colored text. I think they do well to draw the eye and put a special emphasis on your words.
You do have a few grammatical errors, however:
– “The most used vegetable oil s effect on the environment” should have an apostrophe between “oil” and “s”. I think that might just be the font lacking a character for an apostrophe because there is a space. Also, I’m not sure what that dash is above the “l”?
– “In recent years, market witnesses an upward trend”: “In recent years” implies you’re speaking in the past, should probably be “market has witnessed.”
– “The market witnesses an upward trend in palm oil demand due to the increasing demand of palm oil biofuel” sounds repetitive. Perhaps change the second demand to “use”?
– Corporates is misspelled in that paragraph.
– Detrimental is misspelled in “The Reality of Palm Oil” section
– In the “Myth vs Reality” section, only one sentence (“90% of oil palm biomass…”) has a period. For continuity’s sake, I would suggest deleting it, as the rest of the section doesn’t use periods.
– “Oil palm biomass is low in energy density; therefore not a suitable raw material”: Misuse of semicolon. “Therefore not a suitable raw material” is a fragment. If you want to keep the semicolon, just add “it is” between “therefore” and “not”
– “Oil palm plantations have the same same level of biodiversity” Accidental repetition of “same”
It looks good so far!
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I had trouble reading the two graphs that you posted in the top right corner, I really liked the myth/reality presentation that you used, you also misspelled detrimentally.
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